Harry, a well-known Ghanaian relationship therapist and regular guest on SVTV Africa’s Daily Hustle Worldwide show with DJ Nyaami, recently shared his views on cohabitation.
According to Harry, a woman does not need to live with or sleep with a man before marriage. He warned that a man can use a woman and leave her at any time. If a woman moves in with a man, he might later decide to marry someone new, and even his family may not respect her because she was never officially married to him. Harry emphasized that many men prefer to marry a woman they have not been intimate with and advised women to value themselves.
He added that in Ghana, marriage often comes with the responsibility of caring for your spouse’s entire family. Harry expressed little sympathy for single mothers, saying many of them end up in such situations because they choose irresponsible men.
He also cautioned women not to be deceived by African in-laws who pretend to see them as daughters but secretly view them as rivals. According to Harry, many marriages collapse because wives trust their mothers-in-law too much. Some mothers-in-law, he claimed, are bitter because they never experienced true love, and jealousy can arise if their son loves his wife deeply. When a woman treats her mother-in-law like her own mother, she might confide in her too much, leading to trouble.
Harry further argued that the saying “we don’t marry with money” is a scam, stressing that “fufu is rich people’s food—if you don’t have money, you won’t get it.” He bluntly remarked that without money, even a man’s sexual performance will be affected.
Touching on Akan culture, Harry said many Akan men marry to uplift their families and often prioritize supporting their nephews and nieces. This, he explained, is because in the future, if there’s conflict and the wife turns the children against the father, the nephews may still help him.
He also noted that some Akan women even encourage their children to have kids outside the marriage if children are not forthcoming. Regarding Ga women, Harry claimed that when a man takes full responsibility, a Ga woman will see him as a husband, but if household duties are shared, she might no longer find him attractive.
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