James, a Ghanaian based in Germany, has shared a troubling account of his marital struggles and life abroad, describing how early decisions and unresolved conflicts led to years of hardship.
According to James, he traveled to Germany several years ago and made the difficult choice to bring his wife to join him before he had fully settled or secured financial stability. Shortly after her arrival, he purchased a taxi to work with, and the couple later had a child together. James said tensions began to rise when disagreements over finances, responsibilities, and living arrangements became frequent.
He explained that at a point, his wife allegedly asked him to leave the house, throwing his belongings out after authorities reportedly granted her control of the accommodation. When James suggested they both return to Ghana to restart their lives together, she refused, making him realize, in his view, that she was unwilling to support him through difficulties.
James recounted that while they were still married, conflicts escalated. He said he later received communication from social welfare indicating that his wife no longer wanted to live with him. As a result, he moved into a single room, paying €50 to stay there temporarily, only to later be asked to vacate by the property owner.
In another incident he described, James said he attempted to visit his wife with food and drinks but was denied entry into the house. He claimed that during a confrontation at the door, she fell, after which authorities became involved. James stated that he was later summoned to court and accused of attempting to harm her—an allegation he strongly denied. He said he was ordered to pay €500 after claims that he damaged her phone, despite his insistence that he never assaulted her.
James further explained that he later received another court notice demanding increased child support. He said his income is heavily strained by expenses, including rent, utilities, transport, and deductions, leaving him financially overwhelmed. At some point, he said he chose to suspend certain social security arrangements for a year due to the pressure.
Reflecting on their relationship, James stated that shortly after he left Ghana, his wife informed him she was pregnant. He said she already had a child from a previous relationship and later pushed strongly to join him in Germany. Despite warnings and challenges, he felt responsible for her well-being and ensured she was brought over through the same agent who assisted him.
James alleged that once in Germany, his wife quickly became financially independent through social support, at times earning more than he did, despite not working. He claimed she frequently created situations that made him appear unreliable, including disputes related to his work schedule at a hospital where he was employed. He also alleged that she hacked his email out of insecurity, suspecting him of infidelity whenever he traveled or communicated with others.
He added that her first child, now a teenager, has never met their biological father, a situation she reportedly handled alone after being advised to terminate the pregnancy.
James concluded by saying that his experience abroad has left him emotionally drained and financially unstable. He warned others against rushing into bringing partners abroad before achieving stability, stressing that unresolved trust issues, financial dependence, and legal systems overseas can quickly turn personal problems into life-altering crises.
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