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Home Social Issues

I Was Called A Lęșbian For Staying Chaste—Married At 39, & Had a Child 2 Yrs Later- Shirley Vents

by Ohemaa Candace
in Social Issues
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I Was Called A Lęșbian For Staying Chaste—Married At 39, & Had a Child 2 Yrs Later- Shirley Vents
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Ghanaian teacher Shirley, now based in Worcester, Massachusetts, in the United States, shared her compelling life story on SVTV Africa’s Daily Hustle Worldwide show with DJ Nyaami. She has lived in the U.S. for six years and currently works while navigating the cultural challenges that come with migration.

Shirley recalled a tense encounter with U.S. immigration enforcement (ICE). One day while on her way to work, she was warned that ICE officers were nearby. Her boss quickly shut the door of the workplace to prevent the officers from coming in and potentially arresting undocumented workers.

Born in South Suntreso, Ghana, Shirley grew up in a family of seven children—six girls and one boy. Her mother was a strong advocate for education and also involved in sports. Shirley began her early education at Armed Forces Soldier Line School and continued through various schools including St. Benedict, Peter’s International. She later attended Kumasi Girls’ Senior High School.

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However, she struggled with core subjects like Math, English, and Science and had to rewrite several exams. Eventually, she completed high school between 1998 and 2003. She went on to study textiles at Takoradi Polytechnic, followed by national service at GTP in Tema. During the Kufuor administration, she also engaged in voluntary service at Effiduase, which gave her joy and a sense of purpose.

She later attended the University of Education, Winneba, and started teaching at Presby SHS, then Agona Yiamoase. After 10 years of teaching, she met her husband, got married, and later transferred to St. Louis SHS for two years before relocating to the U.S.

 

Shirley moved to the U.S. at age 39. Before then, she had never given birth, so her main focus after marriage was to have a child and enjoy her family life. She became pregnant in March and could not work during that period, but she still managed to send $100 a week home while caring for her newborn.

 

She described the pressure she faced to get married while still in Ghana. “Even the students I taught had grown and were putting pressure on me to marry,” she said. This societal pressure became so intense that she was falsely accused of being a lesbian by both her church members and school community simply because she chose to live a chaste life. “I walked closely with a female best friend who was also Christian and focused on God. People misunderstood our devotion and assumed we were in a relationship.”

 

One student even claimed Shirley had proposed to her, leading to a scandal that deeply affected her emotionally. “I cried many times while driving from campus to my quarters,” she recalled.

 

Despite these challenges, Shirley remained focused and eventually found love through a church connection. She and her husband spoke for the first time on July 4th, he visited Ghana in late August, and they got married on September 1st. Two years later, he brought her to the U.S.

Her husband had children from a previous relationship—ages 26, 23, and 19. Initially, they did not accept Shirley, especially after their mother passed away. “They made life very difficult for me, but after I gave birth, I began to understand them better.” Though they once left home because of her, Shirley now recognizes the pain and protection they felt for their late mother’s memory.

 

Shirley ended her story by saying, “Marriage has taught me to appreciate my single life. I have the best husband, a very good man, and no matter how hard it gets, I walk through it.”

 

Watch The Video Below:

 

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Ohemaa Candace

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